Preventative health benefits in unexpected places
On a recent family trip to Asheville, our Aunt Laurie told us about a great store in town that featured a dizzying array of beads. There was no way that we could miss this chance and so we went. As we entered, we saw the following sign:
Warning! Before you take another step in this store, you should be warned that bead collecting is the most addictive habit a human can engage in. You should consult your spouse before going any further, as beads will be in every nook, drawer, crevice, crack, cranny, fold…beads in your socks, beads in your shoes, beads in your bloomers, beads in your steering wheel. REMEMBER: you have been warned!
This warning sign came about five years too late. Sophie had already spent lots of time, energy and money (not to mention lots of mine too) on beads. That first set she received was like a gateway drug except the small vials were filled with tiny glass beads – all shiny and sparkly and inviting. As you can imagine, we spent a lot of time making trips back and forth to Michaels for all the appropriate companion items. She needed string and, after experimenting with a few kinds, finally settled on the one that was the right weight, and color and had just the right amount of flexibility. She also needed clasps, crimping tools, storage boxes and something called “findings”. All I know is that we were “finding” ourselves in the midst of a real education. Our education was partly about the beads and partly about family time, profit motives and stress relief.
Sophie was hooked upon discovering that people (mostly her immediate and extended family, to be honest) would actually pay good hard cash for her necklaces. I was hooked because I could wash away the stress of the day and spend time with my daughter. Truth be told, she began to create a nice little cottage industry for herself and, like any good entrepreneur (think Tom Sawyer and painting the fence) she got help with the production line. It also provided me with an opportunity to teach lessons about profit margins, revenues and cost of goods sold. Hey, it’s never really too early to introduce the basics of business. Sophie began to embrace the idea of investing in her business by expanding her raw materials with the proceeds of her sales. So as she became the mini-mogul of beaded necklaces and spread the gospel to friends at school, I received a much greater benefit.
I realized that the process of designing the necklaces, choosing just the right combination of beads, laying out the pattern and ultimately stringing them into a finished product was both stress relieving and satisfying. I guess by now you know who her elf in the workshop was – and continues to be. I have found myself in times of stress at the kitchen table with the rainbow of beads in front of me trying to repeat the creative process and find that quiet, serene place where I could shut out the beeping of my BlackBerry, ignore the phone calls and just be. Despite our hyper state of technology and connectedness, I had found an activity that was decidedly low tech and gave me a chance to unwind, unpack the stress of the office and be a better parent.
I was able to spend time with Sophie doing something we both enjoyed though our motives were very different. She was in it for the cash and I was in it for the quiet. We spent quite a lot of time together at the kitchen table, talking and not talking. Since she got that first set of beads, she has matured and moved on to other forms of entertainment – iPods, pre-teen TV, the computer, AAU basketball – but occasionally she will come find me for a session at the kitchen table with the rainbow set out before us. As much as I enjoy watching her sink a game-tying 3 pointer and running back up the court with all the confidence of LeBron James, I do miss the quiet times. It’s clear that she is growing up and starting to develop a whole new set of interests, but I am enormously grateful for her introducing me to this addicting pastime. I have found myself at professional bead shows to the trade ostensibly so Sophie could buy new supplies but found that I was pouring over the strands to find a new color or shape to complement the growing collection. And you might even find me lingering outside the random bead shop eyeing the new and exciting items they have to offer.
Indeed, as I entered the bead store in Asheville, I had been warned and I consulted my spouse. I did make a purchase that day with her approval. At particularly stressful times I still find that creating the shiny and sparkly lengths of beads helps me temper my mood and I still let Sophie take credit for the creations even if she doesn’t offer to split the profits. In the end, whether your stress reliever is stringing beads or hitting golf balls or attending a lecture or watching the same old movie for the 100th time, it is critically important to your mental well-being and your family’s well being to find that quiet, serene place where you can wash away the cares of the day and make yourself more accessible to your kids, spouse, parents, family or friends.